The Lord's Prayer?

A new take on the Lord's Prayer... as recited by a four-year-old in Sunday School.

"And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

(I read this somewhere and it cracked me up.) =)

"A Fairy Tale"

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly,

did not whine, nag or bitch........

But this was a long time ago.....
and it was just ONE day.

The End

About Lolita... the Killer Whale

Lolita the killer whale is only performing one show a day now. This could be because she is getting older - or because Miami Seaquarium wants to direct attention away from her.

LOLITA'S STORY:Lolita is a killer whale in a tank so small, its illegal to marine park standards. Its only one and a half times the size of her body - she often runs into the walls during shows. The tank is no larger or deeper than a hotel swimming pool. Its only 35 feet by 80 feet for a 22 foot long whale. She has been in this same tiny tank for more than 30 years.

She has no company. Wild whales choose to stay with their families for life, never leaving thier mothers' sides. Lolita lives all alone though. She can be heard crying out for her family between shows and at night. She shows signs of angrer by slapping her tail, snapping her jaws, refusing to do tricks, and starving herself.

Lolita has zero shade from the burning hot Miami sun. She also has no protection at all from the dangerous and frequent hurricanes that hit the area. Electrical wires and cords are strung up all around her tank - also very dangerous. Her tank leaks very badly underneath. The tank is held up by several rusty pipes. Algae and fungus have grown under and in the pool. The tank's filter has broken numerous times.

Lolita's tank is loaded with chlorine and other chemicals, which irritate her soft, sensitive skin and eyes. Her tank is sub-standard in almost everyway.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON LOLITA, PLUS HOW TO HELP VISIT:

- http://www.orcanetwork.org/

- http://www.dolphinproject.org/

- http://www.orcahome.de/

Something must be done to help Lolita, and all of the other animals who suffer from this, and all other forms of animal cruelty.

"King of the Rats"

Posted on Yahoo News today:

PARIS (AFP) - Fossil hunters have uncovered the greatest rodent that ever lived -- a one-tonne behemoth that bestrode the swamplands of South America some four million years ago.

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The newly-identified species is the greatest-known member of the order Rodentia and by comparison makes the biggest rodent alive today, the 60-kilo (132-pound) capybara, look like a pygmy shrew.

The skull of the extraordinary beast was found in a broken boulder on Kiyu Beach on the coast of Uruguay's River Plate region, palaeontologists reported in a study on Wednesday.

Measuring a whopping 53 centimetres (21 inches), the skull has massive incisors several centimetres long.

Despite this fearsome look, the creature was not carnivorous and looked more hippo-like than rat-like.

Its small grinding teeth suggest it had only weak masticatory muscles for chewing food, and probably tucked into soft vegetation, fruit and squidgy aquatic plants in deltas, the experts say.

Its food intake must have been vast, given its huge size.

Other denizens of this world of marsh and forest would have included sabre-toothed cats, flesh-eating birds and armadillos.

The newly-found species has been dubbed Josephoartigasia monesi, in honour of Alvaro Mones, a Uruguayan palaeontologist who specialised in South American rodents.

Authors Andres Rinderknecht of the National Museum of Natural History and Anthropology and Ernesto Blanco of the Institute of Physics in Montevideo say there are several ways to estimate J. monesi's size.

The ranges run from 468 kilos (1,029 pounds) to 2.5 tonnes.

But, they say, the most reliable figure is an average of 1,008 kilos (1.008 tonnes, 2,217 pounds) which is derived from comparing the giant to its closest living relatives, called hystricognath rodents.

The previous rodent record-breaker, Phoberomys pattersoni, was found in Venezuela in 2003 and was estimated at 700 kilos (1,540 pounds) in its prime.

The study is published by Proceedings of the Royal Society B. The Royal Society is Britain's de-facto Academy of Sciences.

This is pretty interesting and all, but I don't think it's a rodent I'd look forward to running into. YIKES! I'll stick with my smaller, cuddly ratties... whether they be furry or fur-less. :)

Looking Forward to...

... seeing Daniel Tosh perform his comedy show next month.

SO EXCITED!

Random Laughter

Said by some chick on E! channel this morning...

"Her husband is so hot, I'd boil his boxers and make tea."

Re: Victoria Beckham's husband, David.