"HONKY OBLIVION REACHES ALL-TIME HIGH"

(I stole this from Duane who came across it on RabbitBlog, and it was written by a white woman. No matter how harsh, no matter the use of the word "honky" throughout, I'd have to agree with her.)

Hey honkies! Gosh, it's nice to be safe and dry and well-hydrated, isn't it? Today is a good day to be lily fucking white, that's all I gotta say. But even if we were a little hot and hungry and maybe, I don't know, dying, it's tough to see the U.S. government ignoring us, isn't it? Middle class white folks, thousands of us, suffering, waiting for someone to just give us a lift out of hell? Does that sound familiar to you? If it did, would we be referred to as "refugees" do you think? And since when does sniper fire justify the total removal of aid? Aren't there troops in Iraq withstanding sniper fire day in and day out, to keep the peace, to hand out aid, to make sure that freedom is always on the march?

You know, when our fine president was elected last fall, I had to tell myself, over and over: "Come on, things will be bad, the environment will be fucked, the war will last indefinitely, you'll have to turn off the TV every time that imbecile comes on, but it's not like the country will fall to pieces. It's not like chaos will descend upon the land. It's not like Americans will be able to stomach the war once the casualties reach the thousands. It's not like the basic humanity of our leaders is completely, 100% in question. I mean, they are human, right? They have some compassion, they have a plan, right?"

Honky madness! And when you hear black folks raging against the government, talking about violent uprisings and such, and all you can think about is what nutjobs they are, and does this mean all your fucking appliances might be carried away, what is that? How fucking blind are we, honkies? These people are the only ones who can see clearly how royally fucked this country has become. The front page of my paper has a sea of upset, suffering black faces, and the fear-mongering, compassionless captions say "rage builds" and "seething crowds" and "chaos" and "gunfire" and "refugees."

Refu-fucking-gees? How about Americans, motherfuckers? How about New Orleanians? Was there a special debased name for the businessmen emerging from the World Trade Center, shocked and covered in dust? New Yorkers, that's what we called them. And now the National Guard is scanning for snipers? How about driving some big fucking buses into town, and getting those people the fuck out of there? Remember that movie, "Saving Private Ryan," where a bunch of soldiers busted ass through enemy territory to save one little white boy's ass? Remember? "Gunfire was heard, so the buses left"? Are you shitting me?

Send those poor people some fucking help, and don't forget, this country is filled with really good people. It's important not to forget that at times like these. Yes, some of them were dumb enough to vote for the soulless moron in charge, but a lot of them are good people. And when the dust rises, and we look back on the absolute worst, least capable, most compassionless, reckless, cringe-inducing, murderous president in U.S. history, we can remember that we didn't lose faith in the people themselves. Don't let your fear and loathing of rednecks change your mind, there are lots of really good bumpkins out there. Don't let the talk of looting and gunfire change your mind, those are good people, and they're freaking the fuck out for a very, very good reason. You don't know shit about how it feels, and be glad you don't, honkies.

Honestly, fuck these Moveon.org brunches. People should be marching in the fucking streets over this. It's an absolute travesty, and when you look at the big picture, with kids dying in Iraq and corpses floating in the streets of New Orleans, it's just heartbreaking and it's enraging and it's sickening. Don't forget how bad this feels, because you - we - need to stand up for ourselves and get this country back.