Alcoholism and Relationships

Is it possible to have a healthy, happy relationship with an "actively drinking" alcoholic? What if one of you doesn't drink at all... does this make a difference? Is the relationship doomed either way? What if the alcoholic stops drinking? With effort on the part of both people, can the relationship be saved / reconciled?

These are questions I have been asking myself lately, and don't expect or necessarily want answers to... just ponderings.

After the turn of the New Year, I've realized, again, just how short life is, and how things in my life have changed me... what / who I miss... what I'd like to have again; what I wouldn't... what's important; what's not... who's important to me; who isn't, etc.

As I think about such things, I can't help remembering that alcoholism (red wine was his drink of choice) stole who I feel may have been the love of my life from me in 2004... I had to walk away from him, from us. As a non-drinker, this really angers and hurts me, and I don't understand it... how can wine be more important than anything / anyone else in your life? How can losing the person that loves you, the person that you love, not be enough to stop drinking??

Now, after a year and a half, MAYBE (that's a big maybe) that was enough time... (I recently found out that the beginning of "no more drinking" has started). Whether it lasts or not is an entirely different story, however... this I know. Let's just say, I can't hold my breath. This leads to another question / pondering... is hope just prolonging disappointment?