To have or not to have?

Casual sex... should I have it or should I not?

Since the ending of my last relationship, I haven't really done "the casual sex thing." It's just not right for me... basically leaves me feeling like shit afterwards, especially if there's no honest feelings of attachment, some level of love, trust, etc. behind it. At the same time, it's been offered to me during this "dry spell," and I've considered it a time or two (though only with a man that I have friendship-type relationships with). Thing is... I like this particular guy who's been my only "real" consideration, and I don't want to "get all girlie" on him (could happen ya know!), and start feeling attached and such, when I have no business doing so... if we were to have sex. (Yes, we've been intimate before, and nothing negative happened afterwards... other than not seeing him for the past several years... but, still!) Needless to say, this is what stops me from pursuing anything more than the flirtation and friendship we currently have.

Sometimes I wish I could be more "like a man," and detach enough to have casual sex, and feel fine about it... before, during, and after. That just wouldn't be me though. And, at the same time... we all know of the double-standard... men can sleep around, be as promiscuous as they want and they are called "studs." If / when women behave the same way, the word used is "slut." Hmmmm, go figure.

The lyrics to the following song sums up how I feel about the choice I've made and continue to stick to... no casual sex for me.

"The Only One" (Limp Bizkit)

Hold up you're movin' too fast
I'm up for something that lasts
I ain't looking to screw on the first night
Cause that's a no go

And if the vibe's good, go to first base
'cuz the first kiss could be your last taste
I ain't looking to screw 'till the vibe's right

[chorus]
See I'm the only one you know
That can put you on cruise control
Yeah I'm the only one you'll find
That won't waste all my time, on nothing

Nothing, on nothing, nothing

My will is stronger than most
I will not let you get close
Until I think that you deserve me
Cause that's a no go
I'm gonna hold out, so in the meantime
Don't expect much from a strong mind
Until I think that you deserve me

[chorus]

I'm holdin' out, I'm gonna wait
Wanna make it past the first date
A little time then we can do
All them nasty things you want to do
Don't get me wrong just take my hand
And I really hope you understand that
It's easier when every second counts
So we'll just have to wait

It's really no big deal [x2]

I'd hate to get you in bed
Find out your empty instead
No need to knock another home run out
Cause that's a no go

And I hate to be so filthy
If we were not meant to be
No need to knock another homerun out

[chorus]

Nothin', on nothin', nothin'On nothin', on nothin'