Holiday Wishes

Merry Christmas, and Happy Chanuka... (I believe Chanuka starts today as well).

Karma

karma

n : (Hinduism and Buddhism) the effects of a person's actions that determine his destiny in his next incarnation

How do you know when / if it is Karma that is causing things, not so pleasant or happy things, to happen in your life? If things are going poorly now... things that should be fine, and not so damn difficult... could that mean that I was a terrible, awful person in a previous life and I'm paying for it now? Some sort of "get back?" Or, am I just meant to have these difficulties and bullshit challenges always coming my way, because they are the cards I've been dealt and I have to deal... just because? Does it have nothing at all to do with karma?

I can't help but wonder... not just why, but... why me?

If it is karma, then the saying is true... "Karma is a bitch!"

Such an Amazing Song

Skin
(Doug Johnson/Joe Henry)

Sara Beth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well, since the day that she fell
And the bruise just won't go away

So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
And flips through an old magazine
Till the nurse with the smile stands in the door
And says will you please come with me

Sara Beth is scared to death
Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white, something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you

Six chances in ten, it won't come back again
With the therapy we're gonna try
It's just been approved, it's the strongest there is
And I think that we caught it in time
And Sara Beth closes her eyes.

And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And a soft wind is blowing her hair

Sara Beth is scared to death
As she sits holding her mom
Cause it would be a mistake for someone to take
A bald headed girl to the prom

For just this morning, right here on her pillow
Was the cruelest of any surprise
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny
And Sara Beth closes her eyes

And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And a soft wind is blowing her hair

It's quarter to seven, that boy's at the door
And her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap
They all start to cry
Cause this morning where his hair had all been
Softly she touches just skin

And they go dancing, around and around
Without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared

Something More (How I feel today)

Something More - Sugarland

Monday, hard to wake up
Fill my coffee cup, I'm out the door (Decaf latte for me though)
Yeah, the freeway's standing still today
It's gonna make me late, and thats for sure
I'm running out of gas and out of time
Never gonna make it there by nine (Nine? I wish!)

Chorus:

There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more

Five years and there's no doubt (Four years, but close enough)
That I'm burnt out, I've had enough
So now boss man, here's my two weeks
I'll make it short and sweet, so listen up
I could work my life away, but why?
I got things to do before die

Repeat Chorus:

Some believe in destiny, and some believe in fate
I believe that happiness is something we create
You best belive that I'm not gonna wait
'Cause there's gotta be something more

I get home 7:30 the house is dirty, but it can wait (Well, not quite that late... and my place isn't dirty)
Yeah, 'cause right now I need some downtime
To drink some red wine and celebrate (I don't drink alcohol, but you get the point)
Armageddon could be knocking at my door
but I ain't gonna answer thats for sure.
There's gotta be something more!

George RIP (Approx. May 2004 - Dec. 7, 2005)

I had to make the unbelievably difficult, yet unselfish decision to put little George to sleep and end his suffering. His respiratory infection was getting worse, he had begun gasping through his mouth... and rats are nose-breathers.

My Vet is so amazing... I showed up 1/2 hr. before they even open... he was shoveling the parking lot since his "person" didn't show. I pulled up without an appointment, and he brought us in right away, so most of our time there was before office hours, (as far as his exam and the euthanasia goes). I was there longer though... trying to digest what I had just done, seen, etc.

George was my first rat, he slept in his cage by my bedside for the last month of his life, and I will miss him dearly. He will never be forgotten.

These three pictures were taken a week before I had to let him go.

In the Newspaper!

I'm so excited... and nervous too. The local newspaper here in Boulder, the Boulder Daily Camera, is doing a story on a "group" that I belong to called Boulder Rats. It's going to be about our members and our love and dedication to pet rats... our own and those who need forever homes. This is a result of a Press Release and Nomination form for the "Dr. Mike Hutchinson Rat Vet of the Year Award" for 2005 that I sent to several newspapers and Vets around the region. Who knew THIS would happen?

Shortly before Thanksgiving I received the information that the reporter, Cindy Sutter, wanted to interview me on the subject. How cool is that??!! At this time, we talked briefly, and I was expecting another call in early December, to set up the interview. (A couple of other members will be interviewed as well...)

That call came today! Woo hoo! It's a two-part deal... there will be a newspaper photographer coming to my place Wednesday evening at 6pm to see my rats, watch me as I do my "normal activities" with them (aka playtime) when I get home from work, and take pictures. haha That ought to be interesting, to say the least. Then, Cindy will be here to conduct the interview on Saturday at 1:30pm.

I can't wait to show off my eight little (a couple not-so-little) ratties, and tell whomever reads the article about how wonderful rats are as pets! If this results in just one person out there becoming a dedicated, forever home for a rattie or two who needs them, it will be worth it.

I'm really hoping that George will hang in there and make it for this whole experience.

Movies, Movies, and More Movies

It's cold here this weekend, so I got my errands out of the way earlier today, and the rest of my weekend will be filled with watching movies.

Today I watched "Lost in Translation," and "Alfie." I am going to try and stay up to watch "Mr. & Mrs. Smith tonight, but I'm thinking it won't happen. I also have the entire first season of "Rescue Me" to watch. Exciting weekend for Amy! Not.

Each of the two movies that I watched today had a line, a noteworthy quote, that I actually pushed "pause" to write down. (I have a "thing" for meaningful quotes...)

From "Lost in Translation," as said by Bill Murray:
"The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things bother you."

Loved that line! And I will try to remember that in my own life.

From "Alfie," as said by Jude Law:
I'm free as a bird... my life's my own, but I don't have piece of mind. Without that, you have nothing.

When he said this, it sounded all too familiar. I pondered...

Not Time Yet

I am not positive it is "time" for George to go to the Bridge just yet, I believe he is still enjoying life a tad, so I'm taking the decision making process day by day. Though I think he's getting progressively worse, so if "we" (he and I) haven't decided by Sat. what to do, I'll be very surprised. (I've decided against a deadline, thanks to a good talk with my to-be-brother in law, "J." Apparently "he'll let me know" when it's time." And, after a chat the other day w/ "Duane," I have realized that I have to make this decision based on what's best for George, not for me.)

He's stopped eating his baby food, even his favorites (lamb or liver), which is what all his meds are mixed into, so I know he's not going to get better. I've even tried "tricking" him into eating the mixture by mixing in Cheerios or Yogurt Drops, but that's not really working either. He's continuing to drink and eat his dry food, and he's grooming his tail right now... so he's still bathing too! What a rollercoaster ride...

Must be his time to sleep now... he's curling up in his bed.

:*(